Friday 22 June 2007

Deja Vu?

PS was looking delighted as he banged the front door shut. He waved a piece of paper and had a very satisfied looking smile over his face. PM was just setting down the last of the dhoka vadas from the simmering oil and putting it aside on a plate heaped with the dhokas. I stood slightly inclined supporting much of my bulk on the doorframe that led to the backyard with a ciggerette dangling between the lips. I watched with a growing sense of dejavu. I have seen so many people go back home smiling and bubbling with the memories of Bristol.
It was sometime back that we all came to know of the fact that PS was going for a vacation. We all had been very glad about the fact that one of our roommates is going back to spend some time with his families and friends back home... it kind of made us all homesick for a moment I guess. It has been almost a year round that I have missed so many people back at home. A prolonged telephone call twice a week is all that I have have been left with now to cherish the closeness of the friends and family... then again it would be injustice to cast aside the warmth I have received from the wonderful people I stay with. It is of course something of a revelation to me, having spent all these years within the circle of known and trusted friends and atmospere, that I could adapt and learn the arts of survival and fit in so easily amongst the surroundings. I guess the loneliness here makes everyone a bit more receptive and empathetic towards the ones you somehow know and you tend to build it from there. It is just a question of a few days before you feel very comfortable in a completely new place living with strangers... it is just the matter of time that the trust grows and makes it bearable...just a matter of time.
It is at these moments and the expressions like the ones I witnessed on the face of PS that you are most vulnerable and it might be at those times you would also feel a bit nostalgic and expectant that some fine day you are going to come in through that door waving your ticket back home for a vacation or for good. It is a hurdle, a tough call between home and your career and responsibilities and most importantly some savings. The more you set the decision to go home aside the stronger you grow...