Tuesday, 27 February 2007

Love in August -- 8th August 2005

*** 8th August 2005

9:30 AM.
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Subhankar was in great distress. Sitting cramped in the small space of the mini bus seat he switched his stance clearly bothered by the lack of leg space in front of him. Those who had only seen him would take him for an ordinary and not so intelligent person. That was how he looked. But that would be a mistake. Subhankar was a fair and was well built. Body building has always been his passion and without a forty minute jogging and stretching in the morning he would be sick. Having completed his MBBS from the Medical College Kolkata last year he was associated with the SSKM Hospital as an intern and he was damn intelligent. He only had a pronunciation difficulty for the letter "S", the kind you will find common in people from Burdwan (no malice intended) and that seemed to be his only problem and negated his smartness to some extent.
It would be difficult to get down negotiating the way through passengers onboard he thought, as he made adjustments to how he sat. There was something else that bothered him very deeply. For the last two weeks he had been trying to engage himself in a conversation with this girl, Deboti, but it always turned out that since the accidental introduction to her two weeks back when he had helped her with some change, she has made up her mind not to look his way or speak to him. Staring two seats ahead of him he made out the slender neck and her neatly tied hair yet again. Her ears were so white and looked so soft that the fashionable earrings seemed too heavy for them. He saw her rise from her seat and knew he should also be doing the same. Getting out after a lot of difficulty and making sure that he stayed just behind Deboti, he made his way to the gate. When he got down at SSKM following Deboti, he deliberately crossed her and kept walking fast till he reached the entrance of the hospital. He was disappointed. He had hoped that somehow Deboti would call him and they would talk about... what? He did not know but he wished she would call him. Deboti did not call. He watched as he entered the hospital gates, Deboti kept on walking and then crossing the street went in her college Gokhale. Enough is enough; he decided to consult Sailen that evening.

7:40 PM.
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"What do you mean you cannot muster courage?" Sailen was saying with a look of disbelief. "You perform all the dangerous operations everyday, you take all tough decisions concerning the life and death of your patients everyday and you tell me you are afraid?"
Sensing the touch of incredulity in his voice Subhankar could not help but make a sorry face and a gesture of helplessness. The idea of walking up to Deboti in a packed bus and taking the initiative to request her to hold his bag was too much, thought Subhankar. The idea had some purpose but the cat needs to be belled before the reactions could be judged. Cutting up corpses or treating a third degree burn patient seemed far more comforting. "No, I am really helpless Sailo... I would surely make a blunder of things and perhaps there is no use..."
"Then it is over, thank God! You don't really want to talk to Deboti and take your acquaintance to another level..." Sailen cut in "If you want something really bad then you should not let your ego get on top of you... rather ease yourself and be positive... I am not advising you to give up your self respect but be a little bold for 'No risk no gain'" he remarked with a wink.
"What do you think she would do?" Subhankar asked.
"Look Subha, this is no algebra that you can equate, it is real life. You may predict something but things might not go that way. You can never know what the other person might be thinking by not knowing the person at all.... even if you know the person for a long time it hardly will give you any clue ... at the most you might just predict from your experiences. You cannot expect her to just understand you and accept you as the introvert you are." started Sailen, "About the options she has, she can a) refuse to hold your bag... b)Ignore you or c) hold your bag. The worst is if she refuses and the best is that she holds your bag. You would have then made what it is technically called your 'Contact'. If everything goes fine then you could extend your conversations in bits and pieces like isn't it very hot today? And the sorts...Surely she would not be so reserved that she would not talk"
"What do you mean introvert?" Subhankar fumed "and what if she decided to go fuzzy?"
"Look let's not deviate from what we had been discussing... you tell me that you cannot speak your mind and yet I cannot call you an introvert... that is funny. You will have to speak up and let you mind out or else you will be left sulking forever" Sailen said with finality, "Moreover if she decide to ignore you and pretend that she did not hear you that might just be as good.... she also might be trying to speak to you and is shy... and if she ignores then you cannot throw away this angle".
Subhankar could not make out how cold-shoulder is going to bring some positive outcomes but did not say it. Saying it loud would mean a lengthy discourse and an almost-brainwashing session with Sailen. Feeling desperate now, he decided "... that's it; I will have to do as Sailen says and take my chances..."

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